and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
