He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
