I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize