at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
