Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
