Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
