Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
