Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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