u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
