my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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