Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
