Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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