I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
