can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
