he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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