great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
