Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When are your genitals available?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
