College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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