i'm signing you up for texting rehab
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
where am i from again
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
