What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
