I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
