we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
