In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize