Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
