I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
