so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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