This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize