Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
