A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
