I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
