So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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