is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
