I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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