i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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