True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
