Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
