can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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