I want to make a zoo with you.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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