Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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