Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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