So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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