ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
