please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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