Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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