im about as happy as oj after his trial
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize