doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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