You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize