you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize