Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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