i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Found your dick twin last night
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
