I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize