I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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