Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize