redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
