I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
