I need help removing her.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
