I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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