He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
soo... how was my night?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
