it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
