is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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