I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
