4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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