you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
