He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
